PreppyKev.com » Random

CJ

pk — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 01:10:40 +0000

My goldfish’s name is Pesto, but now that I feel like we’re friends, I secretly call him CJ. I think it’s a friendlier name for a goldfish with his personality. He’s his own fish. He likes to put his mouth on the algae that grows in the bowl when I leave the water too long. He also knows when it’s time to be fed, and he watches the food container and my hand expectantly, until I drop the food on the surface of the water. He immediately darts for it with such force that water splashes up. His name is still Pesto, but until he does something like sleep with my girlfriend, I will affectionately call him CJ, which doesn’t stand for anything.

I work with Dilbert.

pk — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 22:00:42 +0000

Need I say more? Let me provide an illustration:

Fortune Cookie

pk — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 21:00:36 +0000

I went to a Chinese Restaurant yesterday, and ordered the second meal at this place that sucked a lot. I dont’ think I am going to wait for a third strike.

Don’t ever eat Szechuan Bean Curd. If it sounds gross, yeah, that’s because it is. Don’t think you’re brave by trying it. If you can stomach tofu, go for General Tso’s tofu. That shit is bangin’.

On the upside, here’s my fortune cookie fortune:

In god we trust; all others must pay cash.

And of course it’s surrounded by those little smiley faces, like fortune cookie fortunes sometimes are.

Advice for today

pk — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 12:45:13 +0000

Break up with a musician; become immortalized in song.

Break up with a poet; become immortalized in verse.

See how you can work the system?

it's a challenge.

pk — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 05:32:48 +0000

you’re fully grown, and i alone, in pride did die as no stars shone. the dark, it’s mark left in the spark of waking moments locked in stone. it’s art, she says, but doesn’t stay, and as she starts to walk away, she touches the wall with her finger tips, and i lock my eyes upon her lips; she puts her hands on her hips, and scolds me with her eyes in silence. she knows every problem solved in rhythm crops up in cadence beat by beat, never quiet, we choose to give ‘em screams in painted agony, locking in the heat of every whispered song of science, every peace done in by violence, each mountain topped in blind defiance, my dependent sense of self reliance. it dissipates in moments breathing, on our backs with our chests heaving, even as our hearts are screaming, our poisoned eyes disbelieving it isn’t lust what becomes this evening. isn’t love what hearts are seeing; isn’t fate what minds are meaning? isn’t greatness lost in being; is afterlife where lives are leaning? the sky cannot be wrought with feeling as long as eyes are unappealing in dark that goes from floor to ceiling, until morning light dives in revealing all the time we left uncovered,the bodies unexplored, the moments that we severed unappreciatively, retroactively revealing all which was never meant for one another’s eyes: the lies that represent all the ties that bind us to the unspoken contracts of our empty lives, the ones that cut us to the core, as to the reddest apples with the sharpest knives.

p.s. hannah’s little brother is a hottie. he’s a master at karate.

secret's not really out.

pk — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 08:17:55 +0000

i know something you don’t know.

i’m quick and with passion; some people don’t like it. i’d just as soon spin you around and dive into wonderland than let a slow and steady progress hinder my need for what makes a brave heart flutter.

but that’s not the secret.

"Boys like you are a dime a dozen," she says.

pk — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 06:15:48 +0000

You’ll never guess where I am. On top of the parking deck, right on the edge, overlooking the magnificent concrete splendor below, and watching, through the glass hallways, all the medical staff walking by. The wind is blowing, and my eyes are burning and watering, but I wondered who is dead, and who is dying. My Guinness hat just blew away, but I’m not ready to chase it. I’m scrawling furiously on a piece of cardboard; I couldn’t find a notebook. I’m not going to lie to you, or take credit from anyone else by saying you were the only one who could handle my crazy random stunts (I can think of a couple others), but I have to say… As much as I feel like you fucked up, I have this feeling I could call you right now, and you’d tell me you loved me, and you’re sorry, and that my life is okay. Well, my life is okay. I am happy (enough), and I still smile at the world, but still, sometimes I want to hear that I have some support, and I want you to know that I know you would give it to me, just like I would give it to you. I can’t make too many promises or guarantees, even though all of these people want me to, but I can say I’m still trying to be that good and gracious boy who wants to bring happiness to the lives of others. This is so fucking random. My fingers are frozen, but tonight is beautiful. I’m going to chase my hat. It’s in the snow. I just want you to know that even as I stand at the edge, I’m never going to fall off. Neither will you. Please just keep trying to make your life better! My nose is running now, and my watery eyes are making ice trails on my face, but they’re not tears – it’s just so windy. I just needed to finally come back here and remember. Our lives are okay. They’ll always be. As long as the sky is up and the sidewalk is down, they’ll always be. Time to unfreeze, drive home, and go to bed. Life goes on tomorrow.

i won't ever be ready

pk — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 14:44:25 +0000

“Where’s your heart?” It’s beating inside my chest. Are you stupid?

So we all tell lies. I ignore this fact occasionally for the sake of convenience, but the truth is that it’s so deeply ingrained in me that it gets in the way. I’m keeping track of the subtle ways that people lie without trying, and the ways they intentionally mislead. i’m as guilty as anyone else, and I’m keeping track of mine, too.

The world is so small, and the universe so big, but the world is still significant enough in size that we can all find ourselves alone.

“What’s your biggest fear?” That I won’t understand what’s in front of me when it’s finally in front of me. That I won’t know an ally from an enemy.

Courage is not a very valued characteristic in our society these days, and mostly the only roles it plays are in our personal lives. The people closest to us know how courageous we are in our little everyday worlds, and tears can’t conceal boyhood bravery, but sometimes they are the result of it. Two steps forward, one step back – if you have the patience to realize it, you’ll know it still counts as progress, and maybe in your altruism, I won’t be counted out.

“Where are you going next?” I could guess, but it wouldn’t be any fun for me if you knew. It wouldn’t be any fun for you either. The fun is in exploring, not in knowing. I have to remind myself of that every time I doubt how much people care. I don’t really need to know; I need to explore.

It’s foreign on this side,
And the truth is a bitter friend.
But reasons few have I to go back again.

Its foreign on this side,
But it feels like I’m home again.
Theres no place to hide
But I dont think I’m scared.

I’ve exhausted every chinese restaurant in town, so I’m starting on pizza and italian now. It’s so funny that you read this stuff.

you're crashing, but you're no wave.

pk — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 21:58:53 +0000

The truth is that I have nothing intelligent to say, and I was really going to put forth an effort so this silly girl had something to read, but I’m going to go ahead and admit failure for now, and pray for a little insight between here and there, or present and future, or red and green, or upstairs and downstairs. whatever.

My God, How Things Change

pk — Fri, 22 Sep 2006 12:08:59 +0000

Amanda was beautiful. She started off several years ago as our weekly server (every Thursday night) at Buffalo Wild Wings, and she and I had since developed a wonderfully unique friendship.

I looked forward to seeing her all the time. I totally loved her. No matter what, she would never let me get away from her without a hug (usually several hugs) and a conversation. She was always attentive to me; it didn’t seem to matter how busy she was. Often I’d go by her work just to visit her, and she was always as happy to see me as I was to see her. She would even jump on me sometimes. I had a crush on her smile, and she was always smiling. I could go on forever about how awesome a person she was, but you should get the point by now. Basically, she was crazy amazing, and the way she loved is the way everyone should love.

I fell asleep really early last night, and didn’t get mykie’s 12:40am call until after 6:30am when I woke up.

Apparently there was some sort of rock climbing accident, and Amanda is dead now. I don’t know the details, but they don’t exactly matter at this point, do they? I love her, and I will miss her incredibly, and I don’t know how I can go into her restaurant without breaking down, since I go more often to visit her than to eat.

Tears now.

Fin.